For the most part, I’m one of those people who will go the extra mile to make things right, push the limit on what can be done and work the crazy hours just so things get done.
Today is one of those few times that I feel overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by the fact that I have lots to do at work, lots to do outside work and best of it, no time to get any of it done. My mind is in 3 places and things about all of them at the same time. Admitting that I am overwhelmed is sometimes half the battle.
The expression, “When it rains, it pours” is something that we might hear every now and then. This weekend, this expression was true in more ways than one.
It definitely did rain Friday night and it came down hard. That didn’t slow down my concrete pour on the footings. We marched forward, as if nothing happened. A little rain swept through while we were almost done but that didn’t stop us either.
Sometimes, in life, we think that everything doesn’t happen but things do happen, just in their own different ways. I get these sudden bursts of fun every now and then and I need to learn how to appreciate them more and more.
Today, I wished there was more hours in the day left to enjoy it. It’s been a good day. I’m going to bed because it’s now Monday. Welcome to another week.
There are some things, even as blunt as you are, can’t be said to some people. There are things that we need to learn to hold back. There are stories that we want to tell and there are things we want to share. Not everyone will want to hear it and not everyone will read it the same way.
So, sometimes, it is better to bite your tongue and not say things. You run the risk of ruining friendship, pushing away the people you care about, or pissing someone off.
I guess there are things that you cannot write in a blog either. I’ve never really wanted to hold back in my writings but I think it’s time that I started doing that.
Sometimes when you’ve worked so hard towards a goal and when you get there, you wonder – was it worth it? Did it really enrich your life? The answer is usually not there immediately.
I’m tired – my eyes show the exhaustion that I’m feeling, even if I don’t say it out loud. I’ve got so many things that I need to work through. They are all crammed in my head. I managed to arrange for everything to happen this week – as if my life isn’t busy enough. As they say, I have too many critical paths this week.
I am starting to feel good about my week ahead. Got a lot on my mind and got a lot to accomplish:
1. Complete grad school application. (6/5)
2. Personal statement/justification for grad school. (6/4)
3. Lease buyout on my car.
4. Buy work shoes?
5. Frame some new photos.
6. Give swimming lessons.
7. File homestead application. (6/5)
8. Deck permit application. (6/6)
9. Identify deck materials/costs. (6/11)
10. Find someone to go with to the upcoming Jewel concert. (6/6)
11. Pick up chair order. (6/15)
12. Buy concrete. (6/13)
13. Dig post holes (get someone else to dig post holes). (6/15)
14. Pour deck footings. (6/17)
15. Find appraiser.
16. Fix lawn.
Lots to do and little time to get it done. Just the way I like it.
I’m not sure where I am today – how I feel – and what I should be doing. I’m “lost” in the world of Shan Pin.
I didn’t get the momentum going until around 11. I decided that the yard needed attention. I then crawled back onto my new hideaway for sitting in front of the PC – in my kitchen counter.
I’ve had this feeling before – not wanting to do something but I promised that I would. It’s been a hit or miss. Sometimes, I end up enjoying myself and sometimes, I wished I had just stayed home.
I’m tired. I’m exhausted. My crazy lifestyle is taking a toll on me. I need to slow down a little. I need to rest a little more. Hopefully some extra ZZZs will help me get there.
If things work out, I might actually achieve every goal that I have set for myself this year. I might actually start grad school in the Fall and I might actually get to go to Europe. Both are separate things and both are too far away to think about.
Right now, I gotta think about my deck footings - I need to get it right. Once I start this project, I can’t stop until I finish it. That’s just the person that I am – I can’t, not finish what I started. Hopefully things will go smoothly.
Damn it - I just remembered that I need to mow the lawn… I’ve been 3 days overdue… And I live in Woodbury – oh boy…
I’ll figure it out tomorrow. It’s too late to be contemplating and thinking about what I should do tomorrow. I’ll just get it done…
11:40am: I’ve been lazing around for the last 2 hours and I finally decided to get the momentum going. Mowed the lawn and I’m off to a dealership this afternoon and then the wedding.
I can’t tell if I’m more attracted to a tall girl or a girl with blonde hair. I used to think that I like tall girls but I’ve been intimidated by a few tall ones. I like a girl who knows how to package themselves – they know how to properly present themselves.
Perhaps I’m more attracted to a girl with pretty eyes or a curvy body but this is the honest truth: physical attraction comes first. If the guy tells you he likes your personality and he has no clue what you looked like, either he’s lying or it’ll be over before you know it. Like what most women will say – size doesn’t matter but it does. For guys, physical attraction is important.
Let me be honest – I like a blonde girl with pretty eyes, preferably green or blue. But from what I learned on Friday, those are the ones who are most vulnerable to UV rays. So to all those blondes out there, stay away from the tanning salon and get away from the sun. It’s not good for you. Looking tanned is not healthy!
Okay, getting back to my original thought – figuratively speaking, they say that guys will “marry their mothers” and women will “marry their fathers”. People will look to how they were brought up and look for the same qualities. Is that what people do? If so, I need to change that, at least for myself… So, I’m on the right track then – a blonde with pretty eyes. 
The pictures from this trip can be found here. This originally started as a trip to Vermont to work with Chuch, a band that my friend Amber does websites for. Chuch needed some band photos and I wanted to visit more places. April came and seeing how I have about 80,000 unused frequent flier miles, I decided that the trip would be great. Got my ticket, rented a car and took the few days off work to go out there.
Here’s how the three states got to be. I would be in Vermont, another state that I haven’t been to. I looked at the map and New Hampshire is about 2 hours away and it’s another state that I haven’t been to. Marked it down as a goal.
When I got in town, I talked to James, Amber’s friend and he convinced me that there is a Chinese guy everywhere in this world – even in the smallest town in Maine. So, that became the goal of the trip – to find a Chinese guy in a town in Maine.
Have you ever had that urge that you need to crack your knuckle but you can’t? I’ve been walking with this one pain in my left big toe and I know if I can crack it (like you crack knuckles), the pain would go away.
It’s annoyed me for months and it seems to go away but it comes back when I do some serious walking. It’s been on my case for the last few days. I’ve also hurt my thumb playing volleyball last week and it too has bothered me. Both can’t be cracked and both stick out and pains me every time I try to use it.
It goes to say that most of my life is about annoyance that bothers me. Life must be good if these small things bother me… Well, there are things that bother me and things that don’t. Small things do.