This is me, sitting in my room almost 11pm on Sunday night, suddenly energetic. Or maybe I’m awake because I just opened my eyes on how my life is starting to get out of control. I just realized the mess that I’ve gotten myself into, financially. I suddenly become irresponsible with money and have gone on a spending spree, buying everything that I can think of, throwing money left and right because I want to enjoy myself.

Well, I have enjoyed myself, experienced a lot in the last few months. I am looking at the bill that I’ve managed to accumulate and I’m starting to worry. I should be out of debt by May but yet I’ve managed to accumulate more debt. It feels like I’m searching for something that’s not there and I need to stop. I need to realize that this is not how I should be living my life.

For the last few months, it feels like I hit my ‘mid-life’ crisis. Well, in a strange way, it felt like I was suddenly free and was capable of so much more. That so much more cost money…

The only redemption that I have coming out of this is that I’ve realized where I am and what I’ve done to myself. I don’t need this. I don’t need to experience everything in a few months. I need to slow down. I’m starting school next month and I need to stop my insane lifestyle and get back down to earth.

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Last year, the song in my head was “When September Ends” by Green Day. This year, I need a different song to represent what will begin in September. As some of you may already know, I’m going to be starting graduate school this Fall at the University of Minnesota.

It’s been a long time coming but I’ve decided to move forward with a decision, a decision that will change my life, for better and definitely for worse. Yes, there’s always a balance in life. I’m going to be putting myself ahead of the competition, staying ahead with myself, and fulfilling another goal in life. And if you think I’ve been busy, I’ll be busier starting Fall semester. I don’t think I’ll have time for anything else but study and work.

August is like my going away party month… I’m out to enjoy myself, live my life and see what I need to see, all before I bury myself in work again. So, if you know me, August is the time to hang out with me again…

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This blog is somewhat inspired by another blog – Marriage is like Beer by Kirsten.

I’ve been thinking about blogging this for a long time now but I’ve held back for the fear of offending some people I know. Well, like anything, we’re entitled to our opinion – whether or not it is offensive.

Women are like cars. In fact, my car is called Diane, after Diane Kruger, whom I find absolutely fascinating when I watched Wicker Park. Anyways, women are like cars.

Some cars you like, some you don’t. Some cars fit and drive just the way you want it to. Some cars, you can probably settle with, just because it is what you need at that very moment.

Some cars, you want to take for a test drive to make sure it’s what you want - just like going on a date.

The car you drive represents the person that you are:
- A sports car is like a really hot woman. Everybody wants her but only a few can have her.
- A luxury sedan is like a woman with class. She’s confident about herself and she drives herself.
- A station wagon is like a woman who is safe. She’s very homely and she’s someone who wants a family.
- A minivan is like a woman who wants a big family…

A used car is like a woman with children. Well, think about it, part of the purpose of a woman is to bear children. And sometimes a car can have more than one owner… Nothing wrong with it, but just another observation.

Cars (like women), can be demanding. A car needs to be filled up every week. A woman likes to get attention.

Every few months, you’d take your car in for an oil change. Well, every now and then you want to make sure that your woman is taken care of.

Cars, new or old, break down – maybe not every 30 days but they do. When they do, you either fix it right away or patch things up so that you get it running for a while until you have time to really take care of things.

Sometimes the repairs can be more than what it is worth. That’s when you get rid of the car… Or in this analogy, a breakup or divorce. It’s usually painful – in a car, you have to part with the car that may have liked, or hated. It’s then usually time to get a new one.

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Last weekend I was in Rochester for Kurt and Defuze. It was a good show. A lot of people came out and I had a ton of fun.

There was a point in the night where I got pissed off. So, we were driving around looking for this one group of people. The rule for getting a ride is that if you want people to pick you up, you stay where you are, coz if you’re a moving, I can’t find you! (And for the party-pooper, hmm, maybe you really need to stay away from parties coz you’re a joy kill.)

Anyways, back to the new set of pictures. Got a couple of really fun ones but I can’t find myself to work on any of these photos. I can’t seem to find the thing that drives me. My head is split 10 different places again. I’m caught halfway between photography, my deck and grad school. Lots to do and not enough time to do it – that’s usually my problem.

Defuze at Kathy’s Pub 7/15/06

To all the new people that I met in Rochester – you definitely made me feel welcomed. Jackie, Amy, Emily (no I’m not Madonna’s husband), Jeff, Pat, Mark and to those that I didn’t remember your name – well – I’m really bad with names.

I think what it’ll take for me to finish this series is to get my mind back to what I was feeling when I took the pictures. Well, not that part when I was passed out…

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This picture says a lot about me – where I am today and where I am going. I’m jumping into a river – first time for everything. Jumping into new things is something that I do all the time and it is something that keeps me going. The river has endless possibilities and jumping into a river without knowing what’s in it is exciting and scary at the same time.

I’m coming over the busy 2 weeks that I’ve been having. I haven’t done much other than stress and worry. I’m tired and I slept soundly this week - well I was out of town so sleeping in a hotel bed can be quite relaxing at times. I wished I do it more often – sleep. I’m back in my own bed now and I’m hardly sleeping.

This Fall, things will change. Hopefully for the better. I feel that I have a lot to finish before Fall starts. My life can only get busier and faster.

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