This is an odd day. I had the time to think about how it’s not going my way all weekend long, all from that one random conversation. Then someone told me that it’s all about definitions with me. I remembered the show a week ago, where it was all about defining things. Maybe that’s what I need – not define things and see where it goes.

The thing that nailed it home for me was when I heard (or saw), how things are supposed to be – we are going to be who we are and we’re not going to change it. If it is in our life to be casual, that’s who we’ll be. We’re not going to change. And you should be able to be comfortable about who you are.

At some point in today, I managed to imagine about my life, away on the move. I’m constantly juggling things, sometimes several things at once. It’s all about balancing and keeping how many things up in the air at a time. Some have become second nature while the new ones takes getting used to. The different shapes, texture and sizes makes it challenging.

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I do write more when I have things on my mind. I did some mountain biking today. It was good. Nothing like high adrenaline and needing 100% attention all the time to get me going. Had a couple of moments where I should have wiped out but I managed to survive.

There are points in a man’s life where he has to decide what’s important in his life. Then there are the priorities and the important things that matters. Is it worth it? This could be the day that I look back and wonder if I had made the right move.

This week has definitely got my spooked. I’m very superstitious and I went to the one place that I like very much but gives me bad luck, every time. A part of me hopes that the bad luck will break but a part of me knows it’s going to end up the same way again. But the one part of me wonders about the WHAT IF… If I had not done, would I know? Or should I do it differently?

These unanswered questions keep me up at night…

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Currently listening to Emiliana Torrini, “Today Has Been Ok”

There are times when little victories matter and there are days where the smallest defeats trumps whatever was accomplished. Fits the saying, “One step forward, two steps back”.

I can’t say that I’m feeling particularly excited. I definitely woke up with some troubles in my mind. Not work related. Just things that I’ve been thinking about and having doubts bother me a lot.

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I’ve had moments when I’ve felt like this before – determined and certain about how things are going, or will go. Then, when it plays itself out, it’s turns into something completely unexpected and that’s when disappointment sets in.

I feel like taking the first step and making the move but something holds me back. Something always does. It shouldn’t feel so easy and it shouldn’t feel so right. Yet it does. So what’s holding me back? Disappointment? Awkwardness? Or not knowing?

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I sometimes like not knowing when I get there but I’m definitely at a point where I’d like to peek at what’s ahead of me. I really like to know. The not knowing is bothering me – where I stand and where this is headed. I like where I am for sure but it’s good if I had a preview of what’s to come. Sometimes knowing what’s ahead helps you better prepare for it.

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I reading this article on NYT and it talked about how movie studios are feeling threatened by Red Box. Granted, a corporation should do everything in its power to protect its profits but this reminds me about the days of online music and how the record labels claim that online music would be the end of the music industry. Well, is it? We still have music today. We still have artists putting out their great work. The world hasn’t changed. The profit margin changed and the roles changed. This is how the world should be – we are humans that continues to evolve.

It pisses me off when corporations try to stop technology because it’s new to them. Red Box is not a new thing. It took a common thing – the dispensing machine and turned it into  a movie rental business. I’m familiar with their service and it is a choice. I could rent from them or I could rent from Netflix. Either way, I get my movie. The difference is that someone somewhere got paid a little less.

Reference: New York Times

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This blog is not very different from the other ones that I’ve posted… I guess we are creatures of habit – getting back to our start and repeating ourselves. I regard myself as a problem solver. I definitely like solving problems. I go about different ways of finding new and creative ways to deal with a problem. I’m in the right business because what I do involve lots of different personalities and twists.

Back to my original point… I have ideas about where my life should go but there are just times when I just don’t see them moving in the right direction. There are times when I try harder to figure out where I want to be but the more planning I do, the more disappointed I get. Something about setting expectations or having them.

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